When I first started writing this blog a few years back my motivation behind writing was two fold. Firstly, I wanted to keep an e-journal of sorts to remember these sweet days together with Syd while she was little to share with family and friends who lived far away so they felt like they were a part of our daily life. Secondly, I needed an excuse to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary. You see, I grossly underestimated what a huge transition it would be for me to go from being in a career that I loved, to at home all day, every day, with a baby. It wasn't always fun, and there were many, many days that I felt as though the mundane ritual of changing diapers, making food, doing forty loads of laundry and picking up every last item in our house off of the floor was making me slowly lose my mind.
So I started this blog to really look at my life through a different lens and capture those extraordinary, perfectly simple moments in what would otherwise look like an ordinary day. And boy did it work! In fact, I often felt inspired to do something or create a memory with Syd simply so that we would have something fun to blog about at the end of the day. It has changed the way I live my life as a Mom and I love it.
One thing I haven't been great about is sharing on the days when I feel as though I could literally rip my hair out. Today, well actually this entire long weekend, falls into this category. I am not sure what got into Sydney but her behaviour was literally the worst I think I have ever had to deal with.
By all accounts the weekend was shaping up to be awesome. We were headed off to Whistler to enjoy a few days together as a family, the rainy weather was clearing up, we were free and easy to enjoy May long.
Literally the moment we got in the car our dreams of a peaceful weekend away together started to evaporate. Sydney cried and whined and winged the entire drive up and her behaviour literally went from bad to worse. By Sunday night I was sitting on the couch next to Paul, sobbing in sheer frustration, not knowing what in the world was wrong with her or how to handle her.
We tried to salvage what we could out of the weekend. Went for a few walks, played at the playground and spent a ton of time in the swimming pool. There were bright moments amongst the misery.
The drive home was no better, by the time we arrived at our house both Paul and I felt like limp, wrung out rags. She had defeated us both, hands down.
Then, five minutes after we got in the door she was back to her old self, happy, laughing, playing and joking around as though nothing had happened. Apparently she just didn't feel like going away this weekend and just couldn't quite articulate it any other way.
So I am grateful to be back home, where my girl is clearly most comfortable and happy. Tonight while I was lying in bed with her as she was falling asleep I was thinking of how grateful I am to have a perfectly healthy, albeit spirited, child. She may give us a run for our money but she is an awesome, intelligent, funny and social little girl and is going to be the most amazing grown-up! I have been given the gift of being her Mom and though I may not do a perfect job all of the time, I will try like crazy to do my best and hope that it all comes out in the wash.
Hope your long weekend was a little shorter than mine...
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