Today my cousins Melanie and Sharlene and little baby Kaylee came over for lunch and a visit. It was so great to see Sharlene's baby again, I hadn't seen her since September and she has changed and grown so much. She is such a sweet little thing, we had tons of cuddle time together today.
Kaylee has inherited a bunch of clothes from Sydney and it was so great seeing her wearing some of Syd's sweet outfits today! Right before she left for home, Sharlene changed Kaylee into one of Sydney's old sleepers, it was one of my favourites ever, made me feel so wistful for the days when Syd was just a wee babe!
It was so fun to have a visit with the girls, Sydney loved having them here and playing with the baby. She doesn't have many cousins her own age, so it was neat for her to be able to spend some time with Kaylee today!
The other day, I was thinking about a moment about a month or so before Sydney was born, when I was driving along and suddenly, this song started playing on the radio called "A Baby Changes Everything". I remember chuckling to myself, thinking how silly it was to say that, how could one tiny baby change everything? It defied logic. Then, Sydney was born, and I quickly realized that yes, a baby really does change everything, mostly all for the best, but there are things that you loved about life before that never quite feel the same as they do after you have a baby. And while you would never, for even a moment, give up having this precious angel in your life, you sometimes wonder if anything will ever be as it was before.
Sharlene and I were talking about this very thing today and it really comforted me to know that every Mom in the world probably feels exactly as we do and just continues to journey on, because this thing about becoming a Mom quickly defines who you are in a way that nothing else can. It inherently changes you in every way and yet there are still parts of you that are who they've always been. There's a tension, a balance, that is forever trying to be achieved. We are mothers, wives, friends, sisters, daughters, so many things to so many important people. We want to neglect no one, and yet this one tiny little person supersedes everyone else, she is your trump card, she always wins, sometimes to the detriment of the relationships that matter the most to us.
It is something you never think about when you are having a baby and is hard to articulate to someone who hasn't yet experienced it, but the experience is universal. No one has all the answers to how to achieve the perfect balance, it looks different for everyone, and try as we might, there always seems to be one ball that we can't keep in the air.
I was so grateful to have a visit with the girls today and to share the ups and downs of motherhood with Sharlene. It was a great lunch with the cousins!
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